Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Sea Shepherd Crew Plant 500 Fake Baby Seals on the Ice
A 12-person Sea Shepherd crew quietly landed on the ice of the Gulf of St. Lawrence with three Jetranger helicopters today to plant 500 fake baby seals on the ice.
"Our objective is to place decoys for the sealers from the Magdalen Islands into clubbing the fake seals and not the real seals," said Captain Paul Watson.
These ice puppies have built in transmitters that will question the masculinity of any sealer that approaches them. As the sealer approaches, a motion sensor triggers a recording that says, "Hey, over here baby killer, prove you're a real man and show me your Canadian club."
Another message says, "I'm cute, I'm innocent, and I'm helpless, so your wives and children will appreciate it if you beat me instead."
The seal pups are rigged to explode in a burst of red dye and cherry Jell-O when struck with a club.
"The seal slaughter will be ended soon, the markets for this despicably obscene, cruel massacre of seal pups have nearly all been destroyed. In this recession no one is going to waste money on a bloody vanity product like this - so we thought this year we would have some fun with the thugs with the clubs," said Captain Paul Watson.
"We realize that some Magdalen Islanders and Newfoundlanders are addicted to clubbing baby seals," said psychiatrist and ice crewmember Dr. Brigitte Bartlett (28) from County Cork, Ireland. "We thought it would be a good public service to provide the sealers with some therapy. The urge to club is a difficult one to suppress. These men once they begin killing have this gnawing desire to kill again. It's a classic pathology found in many serial killers."
The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society were able to land their crew, deploy the fake seals, and return to shore without being detected or stopped by the Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans.